You are fired!

A long time ago, when business turned sour, employees were "fired"
to cut operating expenses. Then came along the less demeaning term "laid
off, to be softened further in the 1980s and 1990s with workforce reductions
and redundant workers.

Now Cisco has refined the art of softening the blow of employment termination
by saying on Monday that the 8,000 or so people that will soon no longer be
Cisco Systems employees were merely victims of "Normal Involuntary
Attrition."

"Cisco Systems expects a 5 per cent turnover of its workforce through
normal involuntary attrition," said Cisco spokesman Tom Galvin. The
American Heritage Dictionary illustrates the extent to which Cisco has gone to
put a PR spin on a dreadful action. "Normal'' is defined as
"conforming to a norm or standard.'' "Involuntary'' is defined as
"performed against one's will." "Attrition" means "a
gradual, natural reduction in membership or personnel, as through resignation
or death."

I'm sure the 8,000 Cisco workers will feel a lot better now.