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Dozen tech events India can't expect in 2012

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CIOL Bureau
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BANGALORE, INDIA: India has never faced shortage of fortune-tellers. In fact, the country with more than one billion aspirations is incomplete without some soothsayers, who 'dive' into our future and 'fish out' something interesting about us.

In the run-up to the 2008 general elections, two such 'prophets' predicted the BJP-led NDA to assume power with a thumping majority. The UPA proved them wrong, en route to getting mired in a slew of scandals, including 2G and 3G. Now, there is no more G left for them to get tainted with.

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Well, prediction is not everyone's game. It is harder than a diamond. Did anybody ever predict that an Indian would design a $35 tablet? If that has become a reality, anything can happen here. That's the power of information technology.

Here, we bring you 12 events that are highly unlikely to happen in India in 2012. As you know, it makes for an easier task than pondering over the likely ones in vain.

E-life app a reality

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These days, there is an app for anything and everything. If there is one to check heartbeats, there is also Siri, a personal assistant application from iOS.

How about an app to assure infinite life or elixir of life? Now, that seems cakewalk for a tech wizard from one of India's premier institutes — like IITs and IIM-A,B or C.

Alas, what if India goes on to topple China to become the most populous country? We bet — and pray — that no desi genius would come up with an e-life app.

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Zuckerberg files pauper suit

Steve Jobs once got sacked from his own firm, but was back with a bang to rule the tech world. How exactly his Indian visit as a teenager helped him in reversing the 'mis'fortune is not clear.

So, the idea of an Indian geek coming up with a social networking site that might spell doom to Facebook can't be totally discounted. We all know what happened to Orkut.

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In such an extreme situation, Mark Zuckerberg will have to come up with something innovative to stay afloat. Say, like filing a pauper suit in a New York Court.

Sibal gets 'social'

Communications & IT minister Kapil Sibal, also known for his 'anti-social' crusader status, might sober down over the coming year in safeguarding the cultural ethos of the country.

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Since he has other lofty ambitions in raising the bar of higher education and seeing through BJP's 'evil' intentions to block the Lokpal Bill, let us safely assume that he would let go of his stern stance to rein in social networking sites.

Cautious optimism... what?

Indian IT companies, at least, most of them are set to shed their conservative image — be it in projecting their future growth or disclosing their big deals.

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To begin with, Infosys Ltd., will drop its meticulously cultivated 'cautious optimistic' image. Too ludicrous to become true?

Just wait till chief executive officer S.D. Shibulal makes an announcement to this effect. “Despite the prevailing environment, we would like to throw caution to the wind. Economic instability, Euro debt crisis, U.S. double dip? We are least bothered in our march ahead.”

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India Inc. outsources to U.S.

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The days of American and European companies outsourcing tasks to India are going to end in 2012.

India, for a change, will become the cynosure of all U.S.-based software giants' eyes, as project by every mundane project will go offshore to the West.

It will be the beginning of an era of coding in Sanskrit — 'the most convenient language for computer software programming'.  

Down the Valley

Even as speculations on our Prime Minister's first stop-over at Washington or the Bay Area would be rife, Indian citizens — Left, Right and Centre — would cry hoarse over our jobs getting Silicon Valley-ed, pronounced the same way as Bangalored.

Every U.S. trip by any Indian would be loathed to such an extent by her/his compatriots that even a to-be hippie would think twice before boarding a flight to the once 'land of dreams'.

Natural tablet cure

Aakash will be passe. A natural tablet, this time around specially targeting aspiring medicos to perfect their dream profession, will be out.

Besides throwing more light on and extolling the virtues of Indian medical systems, such as Ayurveda and Homoeopathy, it will also have apps to assist them in curing epidemic break-outs in backward regions and finding a miracle cure for AIDS.

Pen camera-cum-mobile-cum-computer

A pen camera that can be converted into a mobile phone and a TV that can also be used as an Internet stick.

If at all one such integrated device ever takes birth in this world, it will most certainly be either from China or India.

What would happen then? Sting operations by our TV channels on corrupt politicians and babus can be live-streamed to the audience. Don't you agree?

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Large enterprises to go SOHO

You will no longer be expected to go to office for work, with no sprawling spaces left in the country for huge structures and skyscrapers.

All the spaces will be consumed by the government for Metro rail networks. So, companies have come up with a good idea that all their employees work from home.

You have a small cube at your home with a tablet-cum-mobile-phone-cum-TV-cum-what not.

Giant leap to 30G

All that the world knows about India is that it is a developing country. What others don't know is how fast.

In a dazzling display of the nation's growth story, India will skip the interim Gs to leap directly to 30G. It goes without mention that it would leave the U.S. and a handful of developing nations still stuck with 4G and the like, gasping.

It will boast a band frequency of 300 MHz, peak upload/download rates upto 1 Tbps and quicker-than-reality Internet connection. Before its roll-out, Rajas would naturally have become Super Kings.

Govt offices on the cloud

No more paper works and no more queue in front of government offices.

No more trees left anywhere to print your documents. So, the government has decided to go the cloud way.

All the documents, including your passport, ID card, Aadhaar, DL and PAN card have now migrated to the cloud. Whenever you need to show your ID card or passport, you access it from the cloud on your tablet and flash it to the officials concerned.

MIT's special foldable car for dense Indian cities

The MIT has already launched a foldable car in Spain. This two-seater can change its form in accordance with the situation. The car can compress its shape during peak hours without disturbing the passengers inside.

If the vehicular traffic is too much, this car will change its shape and cruise through the dense Indian roads. That is, if launched here. 

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